One Part

The stress I feel as a mom is always lessened when I lean in closer and hug and kiss my children. I use that awareness to both my and their advantage. So this afternoon, I hugged them a lot. Kissed them a lot. Tickled them a lot. Laughed so they would laugh then I would laugh some more, a lot.

I constantly seek to understand how to best serve them. I enjoy the opportunity of professional work-being able to release inspiration and meaningful content through creative outlets of communication and coaching makes me feel alive! I feel supernaturally inspired to carry vision and conviction and support and equip others in their health and yearning to encounter God. These characteristics of my purpose and heart are fulfilling and rich. God’s grace helps me succeed in this and it is richly satisfying. This is part of my destiny. Only part.

Every single day, sometimes every hour I must manage my desire to work in a professional context. On paper the hours of my days, the tasks of my hands, the energy of my voice and emotions are given to my children more than any other activity or person. Currently, their health & livelihood is my more than “full-time” occupation. So you can imagine, desiring another (easily) full-time occupation during this life stage is CONFLICTING.

My children only have one mother, and it’s me. Only one mother who can pray for them like I can, who can embrace them like I can, who can correct them like I can, who knows them like I do, who champions them like I do. And I refuse to go absent, unavailable, or quiet in their world. What I’m focusing on now is inner reconciliation to reduce the frustration I feel, then project.

For me to be victorious in this I need to order my affections and honor their lives with greater priority than my professional work. This is especially important when I feel like an exhausted, failing, ineffective mother. I have to watch out for the seduction of feeling successful! Because, though I feel deeply challenged and insufficient as a mother, it is my life’s most meaningful work. There are many health coaches and business owners who exist but there is only one mommy for my babies.